Giving up a lot of things

mostly things I find to be useless...

oh yeah, I've got things for sale

http://kpr.craigslist.org/ele/1239976303.html

My itunes listening process!!!

So I'm finally getting halfway into my new mode of listening to Itunes. My problem is I have a ton of music...A ton, dang music blogs... So, I have a ton of music, and not all of it I've listened to. Shamefully, I haven't been an equal opportunity listener. N E Ways, I've organized my Itunes such that my play counts sync form the Ipod and now I'm whittling down the list such that the play count on everything is at least at 1. This, will take a very long time, but I do listen to my I-pod predominantly in the car, so that helps. Still, this is a monumental task.

How I'm doing it; first sort songs by play count, all the zeros come to the top, grab a bunch and put them in a specific playlist I'm syncing on my ipod, play through them, then sync again so all the play counts get added, remove all the ones with a play count from playlist, add more that don't have a playcount...it sounds harder than it is.

I have a pretty nice stereo in my car; nice in that it directly links to my Ipod, so I don't have to fight with radio tuning etc etc. I'm able to access the ipod from the stereo and browse songs, etc etc. Only thing that would be helpful, if it would let you rate songs as they play. I'm trying to rate more of my music lately, just to add another bit of meta information, and not being able to do it on the fly with my car stereo is a minor inconvienience...note to Sony, fix this!!!

"celebrate your life"

"and there's more to celebrate"

or something like that...Been kind of in a funk lately, but recently got hold of a favourite remedy/guilty pleasure, so I'm changing my perspective, whew...

Biking news: I bought clip in's etc for my street bike a while ago and I finally got those on the bike the other day. Today I rode it, horribly, in the wind, but I just wanted to get a feel for the clips. Didn't seem all that bad...

Cloudspotter, or I should say new tunes keeping me lifted

Cloudspotter - by Simon V. Finally saw release earlier this month, I just love the beat and the lyrics, no matter how pointless...

"The clouds,
they move,
they change,
they grow,
they fly,
they die,
they love the sky!"

Advanced copy of Little Boots' - Hands album. She's basically in fan-boy battle between herself and La Roux. Nevermind all the fan-boy bickering and getting to the music, this is a great first album from a talented young lady. Obviously from a musical family, you can confirm from her youtube vids, she knows her way around a keyboard among other instruments.

Passion Pit - Saw them at a music festival and it's just some interesting nice music.

I dunno if I should even get into Kate Bush again....

Somekind of explanation.

lifecrisis - basically what I feel like I'm in
scream - I can't scream it all away, I can't scream loud enough to feel any better
drown - I am drowning in a mess of things
fight - I just want to fight it all
run - I can't run enough, I can't run away, I miss running so much
break - I want to lash out, break something, but the relief wouldn't be realized.
grin - and bear it
jump - I can't jump far enough out to fall away from things
tearaway - I feel like I need to tearaway from all things these days
embrace - I try to embrace it all, smile and enjoy it, but sometimes...
liberate - I don't know if I'll ever be liberated from this mess
fall - away
dream - I dream big
revolt - I want to revolt against it
bash - and crash and break away
amass - I've amassed too much
push - I push it all away
reject - I don't think I must abide by the status quo
confuse - I'm confused of what best to do
conflict - I'm conflicted, could you tell?

HEARTSREVOLUTION… Not the band. (Incomplete)

I’ve been doing a lot of critical evaluation lately with regard to how I want to live and what I want out of life (like I do) and I think some of my conclusions are starting to take hold… I think…

Anytime is the “right” time: This is mostly with concerned with relationships, but it can be applied generally. Specifically, going through all I’ve been, and my ideals of what makes a relationship good, or doable, I’ve been preventing myself from getting involved in any greater degree than friendship. The primary reason for this is my belief that it just isn’t fair to anyone to bring them into this mess and because of this mess, it just isn’t the right time. My recent conclusion, which I’m embracing, is this; Thinking like that, there never will be a “right” time, there will always be any reason it isn’t the “perfect” time. If no time is going to be the “right” time, then my thinking needs to change to accept that anytime is the right time. Now if they are unwilling to deal, then they aren’t the right “…” Embrace the chaos, and enjoy the ride!!!

The more I possess, the more I’m possessed: Old thought, often philosophized, I’m trying to apply it to my life and quit. I know it’s in my nature to be a “collector” of things, and I have a tendency to feel the “need” have things so I can do other things. I’m attempting to refine this to the minimum required. As an example, it isn’t necessary for me to wear all the soccer gear just to play pick-up. This is a trivial example, but it’s along the lines of what my pattern has been in the past. Next, I don’t need several(more than one) of some things in order to be well equipped for anything. I do not need more than one pair of snowboard goggles, so long as I have one really excellent pair.
This thought of having the one excellent pair speaks a lot to my natural tastes in that I prefer to buy the, my opinion, best of some things and use it to it’s full potential rather than just repeatedly buy inferior versions. Wal-Mart and other “made in china” retailers take note, I’d rather spend more, once, than less, over and over. It just makes more sense to me to have something I’m confident in rather than something I’m not.

Phoenix

Been enjoying this band lately:

If I Ever Feel Better

Bloomsday Factoids 2009

Finish Time: 1:10:56

Overall Place: 6,821 out of 44,490

Ran with a pace of 9:30 per mile

The average pace for 31-year-olds was 14:11

Placed 151st among 709 people the same age Top 25

Placed 8th among 36 people from Benton City, WA Top 25

Placed 5,158th among 35,983 people from Washington Top 25

Placed 6th among 19 people with the same last name Top 25

Placed 4,569th among 18,141 males Top 25

Placed 94th out of 268 among 31-year-old males Top 25

Girl Talk

He's been getting really popular lately, and I only really got into his stuff toward the end of last year; Girl Talk is an excellent, fun, etc etc, mash-up, hip-hop, pop, rap, electro, throw it all together artist. Very entertaining! here's a taste or two:

Sick of being sick

Needs no further explanation.

My thoughts on my happiness, or greater happiness.

It's been a while since I posted anything here and I thought I'd do something with actual substance.

I'd rather be broke, so long as I was living in the place I want. I mean, I'm no longer so attached to anything that I don't think I could leave it behind or take it with. I also don't want to sound like I'm hating life here or that I'm ungrateful, this is the place I was born and raised; however, I think my happiness would be greater in a more metropolis location, and by no means would I have to be attached strictly to one location. And no, I wouldn't choose to be broke, but I wouldn't worry if I was.

I believe if I was in a more metropolis location I would feel less stifled, more free to be me, surrounded by more peers, and able to entertain more of my passions. For this I wouldn't need a lot....

Basically I'm over the materialistic trip, I just want options, many options!

blog arc

A link to each posting having anything to do with Kenya and I:

Memory Reenactment
London New Year
I'm trying to remember something
My 9/11
First Skydive
Good Night, Bad Times
Down, Down down
How it happened for me
Losing Faith
Troubling Post From Way Back When
OK, So I finally finished school

Muscles - The Lake

One of my favorite songs/videos for various reasons(Yes, I know it's old, and I may have mentioned it before):


got knocked unconscious
back dead broken
at the lake

you broke the promise
just be honest
just be honest
just be...

if we're going and seize the day
lets seize the day

all my friends have gone

if its gonna save the night
lets save the night

so i dive right in

if we're going and seize the day
lets seize the day

all my friends have gone

if its gonna save the night
lets save the night

so i dive right in

i could of left you in the water

should we go back there? back in the water?
so you can show me what you've done

should we go back there? back in the water?
so you can show me what you've done

should we go back there? back in the water?
so you can show me what you've done

should we go back there? back in the water?
so you can show me what you've done

NAS Built, still need parts

Ha, so building up an old PC to be a NAS isn't all that hard. Just getting two different brand computers to combine into one was the big difficulty. Now I have an ugly, but functional NAS device, but sadly, between the two PC's neither had a network card so I'm in need of one in order to fully claim I've got a NAS. I used FreeNAS for the software and was able to load that fine, and until I get the network card, that's as far as I've gotten... Progress, but I sure would like ot use new parts for once!

I win

In my frustration with routers and some tinkering I've tried to improve on the workings of the devices and in that endeavor I recently managed to kill my WRT54G-V5.  This is a pretty popular router for modding, so I was convinced that I could recover it.  I soldered on a jumper so I could attach a JTAG and work to recover it.  This was about a month ago and I wasn't having any kind of luck.  The JTAG interface is desperately slow and I wasn't completely sure what I was doing, but I was reading and didn't have much to lose.  I'd attempted multiple flashes and erasing of firmwares, OEM and custom, all to no avail.  I'd let the thing load up the firmware only to find it still staring back at me doing NOTHING. Kept reading/researching.  So after taking some time away from the thing, I today went back to work and was able to recover the device and get it working back to the state I wanted it in in the first place; IE custom firmware.

I win!

Next project: NAS, and maybe I'll finish the homemade digital picture frame, also I've got to try that external Rx.  I've got a list, believe me I've got a list!

My demons

I've actually been trying to be a better friend overall recently and have been helping some of my friends with their demons, so I thought it would be a good idea to put some of mine down. Mostly so I can just explain them away and work through them, but also so I don't forget what some of them are:

Futility: The instant I was diagnosed I was a dead man; There is no point in anything anymore, all I have is this moment; and that's borrowed. This seems like a justification of nihilism. I think I can spin this to my advantage.

Courtship: Who wants to waste time with a person who will "never" be cured, ie remission, what's the point? And why should I even ask it of anyone, that's not fair and I'd just get sympathy anyhow, right? This seems like cowardice and defeatist.

Invulnerability: I feel like I could run through glass windows all day long and it wouldn't bother me, nor would it hurt me.

Artifice: I can never let my health insurance lapse or else I'll never get covered again. (that's another trap in my life) Defeatist
I've been dodging bullets all my life, I'll dodge these!

I asked for this question!

Why you go through the pain of running to reach your personal best?

I first have to clarify that running for me is not very painful. I don't find it disagreeable and in general I find it fun, but would like to do it faster. I have had my fair share of injuries, a weird foot thing, shin splints, some big blisters, the usual; that is just what I expect from it. The human body is a work of art, art is delicate sometimes thus I expect that some of the steps taken to improve it won't always be pleasant, but will be beneficial.

I have no idea what my personal best is, so I don't really look at it as I'm going to reach anything. It's more a mind over matter type of thing. I just know I can push myself further, want to push myself further, will push myself further, always! Also, I am comparing myself to people around me stoking my ego when I can and raising the bar when I can't.

A recent addition to why I run is my medical condition. I've explained it before how as a result of running I discovered cancer. Because that is a result of running, I feel some debt to running and must continue to do it in order to continue to save my life!

Finally, and in my case probably firstly, I admit... I'm a bit vain. Not offensively, but I do think I can look better and feel better as a result of running. This goes back the body as art thing and enhancing and preserving it.

Also

I made mention on a write up from way back. Well, I think I've got it mostly filled out, I may go back over it and edit details if I remember or if anyone volunteers them. Also I've got pictures I can add!

London 2001/2002

As promised

A few posts back I made mention of some old(over 10 years ago) correspondence between myself and a girlfriend. I've come across those recently and noted a few observations she made that I think are still relevant... but maybe they're just a bit too general when taken out of context, especially considering this is all from a time when I was younger and way, way, WAY more rash... Nevertheless, and I quote:

"...you like things to be fair, but it is my opinion that in the long run, you will be the only one you haven't been fair to. you will not have been around long enough to make an impact on anyone's life, neither good nor bad, so fairness is completely irrelevant where anyone else is concerned..."

"...you are a people person, you like to have friends and decent, if not good, company..."