Troubling post from way back

Still not doing so well at keeping this journal up to date, but what can I do? School is out for the winter break! My car is in the shop, the timing belt broke on it and bent a few of the valves. I’ve been working on it myself, but it’s taken a long time. I took the head off and took it to the Napa machine shop who said they could fix it for 300.00 or so. That is better than the rate I was finding, but I’m skeptical.

Nothing else is going on. I have no money and can’t afford to go anywhere. I only have my dads truck, and don’t want to drive that anywhere. And there really isn’t that much to do anyhow.

Kenya and her sister have moved in, since November 1, and it’s been ok. The boys are a handful and really annoying. They incessantly ask questions or talk with no purpose. They are to clingy and such momma’s boys that I find myself getting pissed just hearing them. I haven’t gotten to hang out with Kenya at all and I don’t miss it. Every time we talk she is a bitch to me and I don’t have the patience to deal with that. I know I haven’t done anything wrong and don’t understand what is going on between her and I but I am about sick of it. If things were different, her sister wasn’t here, …

I feel like she is testing me to see if I’ll break. I won’t. My father has been a dick to me off and on, nothing new there. I feel like he is testing me also. If he weren’t helping me with school I would tell him to fuck off also. I am not going to tell him so much any more. My business is mine.

I feel like the DUI classes have made me weaker also. I just need to keep on keeping on and I’ll be ok.

I seriously feel like the relationship between Kenya and I is in a bad place right now, though. And I never feel like I get to be me, Ever.