My demons

I've actually been trying to be a better friend overall recently and have been helping some of my friends with their demons, so I thought it would be a good idea to put some of mine down. Mostly so I can just explain them away and work through them, but also so I don't forget what some of them are:

Futility: The instant I was diagnosed I was a dead man; There is no point in anything anymore, all I have is this moment; and that's borrowed. This seems like a justification of nihilism. I think I can spin this to my advantage.

Courtship: Who wants to waste time with a person who will "never" be cured, ie remission, what's the point? And why should I even ask it of anyone, that's not fair and I'd just get sympathy anyhow, right? This seems like cowardice and defeatist.

Invulnerability: I feel like I could run through glass windows all day long and it wouldn't bother me, nor would it hurt me.

Artifice: I can never let my health insurance lapse or else I'll never get covered again. (that's another trap in my life) Defeatist
I've been dodging bullets all my life, I'll dodge these!