The Golden Filter - "Thunderbird" from The Golden Filter on Vimeo.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
What I mean by, "My life is a mess"
Recently I had a conversation with someone and I told them that "my life's a mess." I didn't get to get into the details of that statement particularly, but let me try to here... First thing you should consider is that all of this is just an annoyance these days and I don't let it get me down, but still, it can be frustrating...
Most importantly are some health issues that are affecting me and my family. My mother has a very serious condition and I'm struggling with it. It really gets to me that such a wonderful, sweet, empathetic, giving woman could be cursed with such a tragic affliction. I'm helpless to do anything about it due to my own circumstances. I too was diagnosed with a serious health condition and although I'm beating it, it does require medical monitoring and that comes at a cost not completely covered by my seemingly good insurance. I'm managing it as best I can, but I was already in some financial dire straits before this, and I continue to have difficulty getting out of it all. Partly, it is out of my own mistakes, some of which I keep making, and partly due to this medical which I resent.
This all affects me and I'm having difficulty getting into the swing of what I consider my normal schedule. There are parts of that schedule that I am not fully completing or completing on a regular basis and this causes me distress. Most importantly is fitness. Before my medical, I was quite active and had a routine of activities that I did to maintain my fitness. I just haven't been able to find the time or make the time to get fully back into it. It is sporadic at best which frustrates me.
I am further frustrated by my work atmosphere. I no longer feel challenged(did I ever), nor interested in my work and I feel I've been told that my only option to advance is to leave. I don't mind that option. I do see problems, however. Firstly, I haven't seen a good opportunity since before my medical. I believe my medical cost me an opportunity, which I resent. Second, I am trapped in that I CANNOT lose insurance, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER. Finally, adding to my frustration, is that I don't feel financially secure enough to take much risk in finding other employment.
That, in a nutshell, is what I mean by, "My life is a mess." I don't mean to suggest that any of this is impossible, it's not! I am just impatient and do feel ambushed and burdened.
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Now playing: The Flying Tigers - Hell For You
via FoxyTunes
Most importantly are some health issues that are affecting me and my family. My mother has a very serious condition and I'm struggling with it. It really gets to me that such a wonderful, sweet, empathetic, giving woman could be cursed with such a tragic affliction. I'm helpless to do anything about it due to my own circumstances. I too was diagnosed with a serious health condition and although I'm beating it, it does require medical monitoring and that comes at a cost not completely covered by my seemingly good insurance. I'm managing it as best I can, but I was already in some financial dire straits before this, and I continue to have difficulty getting out of it all. Partly, it is out of my own mistakes, some of which I keep making, and partly due to this medical which I resent.
This all affects me and I'm having difficulty getting into the swing of what I consider my normal schedule. There are parts of that schedule that I am not fully completing or completing on a regular basis and this causes me distress. Most importantly is fitness. Before my medical, I was quite active and had a routine of activities that I did to maintain my fitness. I just haven't been able to find the time or make the time to get fully back into it. It is sporadic at best which frustrates me.
I am further frustrated by my work atmosphere. I no longer feel challenged(did I ever), nor interested in my work and I feel I've been told that my only option to advance is to leave. I don't mind that option. I do see problems, however. Firstly, I haven't seen a good opportunity since before my medical. I believe my medical cost me an opportunity, which I resent. Second, I am trapped in that I CANNOT lose insurance, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER. Finally, adding to my frustration, is that I don't feel financially secure enough to take much risk in finding other employment.
That, in a nutshell, is what I mean by, "My life is a mess." I don't mean to suggest that any of this is impossible, it's not! I am just impatient and do feel ambushed and burdened.
----------------
Now playing: The Flying Tigers - Hell For You
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
more optimism
Don't be upset about the things that went wrong, be glad about the opportunities to go well...
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