The curse of sentimentality.

Today was the usual, I got up, got showered, went to work, met for coffee with my girlfriend, bought a yoga mat, went to the tailor, then went for lunch, which brings me to the sentimentality.

background: I grew up in a small town not far from here(Sad I know, but that's another conversation) This town and the neighboring towns are all kind of small and were even smaller at the time, so small that fast food restaurants were rare, still isn't one in my home town. I remember times as a kid when the family would go on road trips one of my favourite places to eat was A&W restaurants. I don't recall if there was one in the bigger towns near by, but I know when I got to go to one it was typically a long drive. My favourite one, I believe, was at Goldendale and we would stop there on the way to Portland. This one was the best because it was the type that had car service and door trays for your food. All awesome memories for me. So I always remember it being kind of a big deal to get to, and rare also.

Well, I don't know what happened over time, but A&W gradually went away and my favourite one I think is a McDonalds now? And, I don't remember the last time as a kid that I went to one, but I believe it was 2/3 years ago now that I went to the east coast to help a friend move back west(another, story there) and on the looooooooooooong drive back we stopped at one in Arkansas, on the I-40 I believe. That time was a bit not so good simply because the trip was a cannonball run back west here, but I got to go to one again. I'm not sure the marketing behind the whole A&W resurgence, but now we have one in my area which I can go to and have that whole sentimental reminder. Anyhow, all day I was cursed with the sentimental inclination that I needed to go. I did and it was good, not how I was growing up good, but still good. That reminds me of something I heard recently about eating and sex being the most pleasure producing acts a person can engage in, so, am I just subconsciously satisfying two pleasures? My sentimentality and enjoyment of the food? I don't really know about that, but I'm troubled because I want to create new, better memories, and I stress NEW.

I guess, really, those things we remember are the most important or significant, maybe, to us as individuals, right? Good or bad I suppose are just what we take from those memories. Still, I would enjoy creating new better, more significant memories, or better yet, ways for me to never be forgotten. Narcissist much? Everyday!

So much for diligence....(Sorry Jodi)

Ah, yes, well, I guess 3 whole days in a row is the best I can do...hmmmmmm. I think it is just that the things in my life aren't really any of your business, eh? ha ha, j/k. you know I love having you peruse my little blog, heh.

Ok, so then, I'm keeping busy, yay. The weekend was pretty much work, which isn't really work at all. I had a nice lunch Saturday with Jodi(thank you), and although late, it was still relaxing, and I remained dry, ;)
Funny thing, going back to a conversation I had at lunch, my Dad called me the next day to come help him with his computer. This isn't really a problem, kind of like to do it, but after a conversation with my sister tonight I'm starting to wonder about his mental health. Yeah, he's old and still pretty sharp, but helping him with computers; you have to understand, he made his living working on computers, and now he's asking me for help on some rather mundane things aswell. maybe he's being lazy, but sheesh, if 40 years of your life was spent doing a thing, wouldn't you remember it. Oh, you know, it just occurred to me that maybe its just patience. I know for myself sometime I just don't want to spend the time doing something so will abandon it for a while, so maybe that is kind of my dads philosophy combined with the fact that he knows me one of the family will help, and some of us feel more obligated than others(guilty).

What else exciting? I've started looking for a new roommate again... I don't need to move, but kind of would like to, and I could use the change. So, anyone living in the 99352 zip....

I mentioned I've been keeping myself busy, and I have. Work isn't really work, as I said, so I've been doing a lot of 'me' things while at work, particularly working out. Nothing too serious, just some aerobic exercise, weights, and I guess it would be labeled body building work. I've actually resolved to go ahead and bring in a yoga mat and do a few poses...that should keep me limber, eh? Also the big project I've been taking care of at work is my tape conversion project. This is time consuming and I'm particular about the whole process, and work gives me the time to do that, with little interruption and it doesn't get in the way of work. So, getting that mountainous project slowly but surely but faster than when I was doing it at my apartment. I've also been doing a second job for a friend of mines shop, got paid today, so thats extra cash!!!!(Always good) and I kind of like the work, also good but I don't want to do it the rest of my life.

I got a lot of things in this weekend, so that was nice, but I really need to stop ordering so much stuff: I ordered a blazer on Ebay, was relieved and impressed with how well it actually fits and looks, just need to have the sleeves let out a bit which I meant to do today, but the tailor was out... got a new battery for my phone cause the old one was acting silly and not holding a charge well, also the new battery has a larger charge, so should last even longer, how sweet is that!?!?!?! ha ha, how banal really. Also got a carbon fibre brush for my records, yep, nice and clean. Lastly, got a bunch of music in. to many to mention, but I will mention Ed Rush & Optical's latest release, a sort of live Drum & Bass project that I haven't listened all the way through, but sounds decent; also wanna mention the fabulous Logistics album 'Now more than ever' which is also Drum & Bass, for those of you who don't know, and it is very, very good.

now, aren't you happy I waited till now to vomit all this out on the screen, ha ha

Best to ya

3rd

Well now, this marks day three, consecutively, of myself writing about myself....How narcissistic eh? The day itself was decent, for a work day.... I worked at my buddies shop in the morning which was really boring, but better than a sharp stick in the eye. After that I went to the sporting goods store to get an 'ab wheel' cause I've got some free time at my regular job, so I've taken to working out there. I like that I am able to find some time to work out and get something more than just sitting there at my job, but really I'd prefer to actually learn something and make more progress professionally. Though, I do get some of my little organizational projects done while I'm there; plenty of time to study and the latest project has been converting my tapes(yes, tapes) to digital. This is a really time consuming little process, so with all the dead time at work...Well, lets just say another month of this and I should be tape free!!!! yay, something off my check-list. But it doesn't really make room for the 6 million other things I've added to the list, you know what I mean?

Ha, and I thought when I got done with college I'd have all this free time to devote to whatever I liked.... WRONG, it's still a huge juggling act to fit what I need to do and what I want to need to do all in. I've come to accept that there will never be enough time, but it sure is aggravating and it seems like all the things I want to need to do are getting eclipsed by all the 'need to do' things...

Sorry, it's gotten kind of late and I'm not thinking as clearly as I'd like for this so I'll leave it at this: I've been a bit concerned about a friend of mine who messaged me for coffee a few days back and so I called her and got voice mail. I said I would like to go said when a good time was and where, kind of left as a possibility... Well I never did here from her and didn't go, so I'm concerned that maybe she just thought I was going and she went but I wasn't there so now she's thinking I stiffed her.... I know, such a girl of me right? I'll just call her and set that all straight, duh?

2.

Welcome to # 2. This would be my second post...and in a consecutive fashion, oh my.

Yesterday was lax. The primary event of the day was studying and finishing the test for an exam I had yesterday. That was cake. I took the time to also make some new ringtones for my phone. I'm not a huge fan of Lil' Jon or anything, can't even say I'm remotely interested in his music, but the fact remains that when he screams "what," "Yeah," or "OK," it's pretty funny so I thought those would make hilarious ring tones. Took a while to find some good(ie ones without music, that are of high quality) audio clips of him. I found a bunch of the skits dave chapelle did, also funny, and finally found a few of strictly his voice.

Nothing else very productive.

I've been racking my brain about the whole marriage question...probably need to talk to other people more aobut it. But it seems like a lot of people around me are getting married and I'm starting to think critically about what the point of a relationship(as in dating) is and why people engage in them? It seems to me that the reason people get into relationships is to ultimately marry, and if that's the point... why do I even bother? I know I'm oversimplifying here, but if I'm not dating with a marriage goal, why am I dating? NE ways....

Watched Nip/Tuck last night...it was pretty good, but I felt it 'jumped the shark' a bit with the nanny/mother dynamic...I was disturbed.

Best,
X

This is the beginning

Ah, so I've gone back and forth with myself on this and I just can't decide if I've got anything really interesting enough to talk about on here. I'm really just planning on writing my thoughts and things and trying to keep it more as a journal and that sort of thing. Honestly though, I'm not normally very talkative with these sorts of things, but who knows. Maybe I'll open up...

The past couple of days memories of last summer have really been plaguing me. I'm not sure why really, I know it's impossible to forget, as much as I would like to. But also it just isn't productive, I'm not coming to any new revelations and I don't believe there are any to be found. It's just agrivating to keep having these memories that really are pointless to me.

Well, I guess this is a start, but I probably won't end up doing much with this, so don't hold your breath.

The picture you see here is by a recent favourite designer, Vault 49. Check it!

Best to ya,
X